flip the turtle over and give her a hug

so since you have been on here i have renamed my blog. i never told the story of the first name "conquering the hills" because i never got a round to it. (actually i do have a 'round to it' wooden coin somewhere but anyway) if you have run with me you know i am not great at hills. i am a true tatur and do walk them whether i am running road or trails so i am obviously not conquering them in this way. but i do have a larger upper anatomy and this is what my blog was named after. despite the sisters in the way, i still trudge on. well, i was sitting in moe's burrito joint the day after the little rock marathon i was watching a cartoon and there was me! on tv! what is slower then a turtle? an upside down turtle. he just needed some help to get going to then he accomplished his goal. this post is dedicated to my new blog name and my new journey.

today i joined some friends near stillwater for the lake mcmurtry race directed by my dear friend, trail zombie. he did a great job and managed to really get his head ripped off by only one runner. i am sure he will have a great race report in the next few days.

my husband jason signed me up for the 50k a few weeks ago without really talking to me about it. we were however on a quest to get 2 marathon maniac stars by getting six marathon or ultramarathons in 6 months and this race would make 5 with 6 weeks to go til deadline. so today i set out to run a 50k. now just yesterday i was home from work, at urgent care, getting an abdominal xray in the attempt to further investigate my pain and bloating i have had for the past 6 weeks. this scan revealed some mightly full intestines but no obstructions. and just wednesday i took a laxative!! no, i did not eat a truck load of food! my body just didnt fully evacuate. so yesterday i treated myself to first a unsuccessful liquid glycerin suppository followed by a unsuccessful enema. well that was off on a tangent, back to the race.

i had the usual cramping that is becoming chronic and i was able to get thru little rock 26.2 so why not this? i didnt feel to bad but just never got into the race. the course was the next best to sunmart. i love seeing my friends on out and backs! it is so encouraging. also the aid station workers on this loop were awesome. thanks bill and ed. you were awesome! i completed my first 12k and was rather disappointed with my time ~1:57. my feet hurt and i was tired. just after this i started my second loop and got to see the first 12k runners completing their loop. the fifth person i saw was my dad which was cool. he ended up winning the masters division and got a cool wooden box with a engraved plate and very nice compass inside. cool prize tz!

the second loop didnt go so well. this is where i saw a bunch of people which was the best part. i even got a kiss from jas since he was so far ahead of me and passed me going the other direction. christin did an awesome job at her aid station as well. thanks for all your hard work! just like the first loop, i walked alot and never got into the race. could never pick up the pace. my feet were hurting worse. i started thinking about how my dogs were in the car and they may be getting to hot. i was also thinking about how i needed to concentrate more on my marriage then my job or anything else in my life. i didnt care about my second star anymore. i just wanted to be done. the last two miles i mostly walked. as i was about to cross the finish line, i saw my dad and step mom standing there. since i was just thinking about family and what was important to me, and my family was standing there that i dont see very often, and my dogs were in the car, and the food smelled good (thanks for cooking dana!), it was an easy decision. i would quit. i shed a few tears, felt like a loser but got over it. i could spend time with my dogs and my parents, spend more time with my running family as we waited for others to come in, and i could get off my feet. i completed the 25k with a miserable 3:54.

i got to hang out with sandra alot and get to know her better which i really enjoyed. she ran the 12k and did awesome! she also did a great job watching my children while i ran to get more ice for the water and then running tz out to the aid station to deliver more food. while at the aid station, i got to see jas along his last loop and give him a kiss for encouragement. then, hanging out back at home base i got to talk to curtis, bill, michael (who won the whole darn thing) , randy and others i dont get to see very often. jas came in and i was so proud of him. he pr'ed with a 6:45!

we hung out til the last 5ok runner came in, cleaned up the site although i am sure the wild animals are going to tear thru the trash, have a feast, and make it look like we cleaned nothing. we then went to mexico joes for more fun and fellowship.

on the way home i noticed my dad called. he thanked me for the fun he had the night before at dinner and at the race. he was also wondering how jason did. i called back to let him know that jason finished and did great! i thanked him for being there at the finish when i decided to quit at the 25k since i was so upset. he said that 'there was nothing to be upset about' he said that i was 'not genetically made to run this distance' (50k). he said that i was a 'big lady and big ladies usually have health problems and trouble running these distances'. he said that 'if i was training you i would discourage you from running this far. a 25k was good but for someone your size a marathon distance is pushing it and anything further was just no-mans land. you are just asking to get hurt'.

i pretty much remained silent the rest of the conversation until he was kind enough to get off the phone. i was upset after this and jason was left to pick up the pieces. i did not cry because i have shed tears over this before. when dad found out i was training for my first marathon he said 'you 'are not built like a runner' and 'if i was your coach i would not train you for this'. this offended coach kathy! she has trained so many people, including me to reach my goal. thanks to her and the support of my running family i have run 3 marathons and one ultramarathon in the last 5 months since i started training in june 2008. before that i ran 2 days a week on a treadmill for 2-2.5 miles at a time. so somehow it is possible and i even i am trainable. this upside down turtle can be flipped over and finish a race. today was just not my day, not my race.

so i am going to take my BIG ass to the free state trail marathon in lawrence 4/26 and maybe even find another race before my deadline of may 15 for my two stars and i am going to finish my race, damn it! because i have real family right here that will support me along my journey. i love you all. and you show me what it feels like to be loved. especially when i need it most.

pictures from today to follow . . . when i am not so tired